I noticed today that my links for "Long Time Gone" were missing, but it's fixed now, so the six chapters are all accessible now. Sorry...

Yeah, I'm a thief, lol. And bored.

Chapter six of Long Time Gone is up.

I posted two more chapters of Long Time Gone on the website today. I just realized that since my site's getting hits, there might be someone reading the story, and since I can't post it on Elysian Fields, it's the only place anyone can read it. So, I'll try to post chapters on more of a schedule from now on. Impossible can wait, since it's already complete on EF. Hopefully, I can get a chapter of Anna Begins up there by the weekend, too.

I posted another chapter of Impossible on my website, and a couple of teasers, one for "Switch," which is really not much more than a crackfic, if I ever finish the damn thing, and one for "Turned," which is a serious story, but the scene I chose to post is... not so much. I wish I could overcome the ADD I have lately. I'm trying to seriously work on two to three stories, but I keep writing little scenes for other ideas, and it's crazy. Reading too much fanfic does this to me. Is there such a thing as too much inspiration? Hm.

Anyway, my best friend, who is also my beta, is completely obsessed with "Long Time Gone," and actually got herself a little plot bunny for it yesterday, one that I'm finding very intriguing. It's nice to have someone with suggestions, who I can also totally turn down if I don't like them, lol.

So, we had this big, honkin' earthquake today. It was weird. I was on break, about 4:30 this morning, and we're just sitting there, and then the chairs were rattling across the floor. Very trippy. And I was okay, until people kept talking about aftershocks, so all my remaining hours at work, I keep looking up at all the crap that hangs from the ceilings at Wal-Mart. Have you ever noticed all that crap? Big, heavy signs, disco-ball security cameras. Stuff, everywhere, and I just knew I was doomed to get hit in the head with it. (I also work at the biggest Wal-Mart in Kentucky, and we have a lot of ceiling, too.) I called my friend when I got off work to have a complete "OMG" conversation about it (which we would never admit to), and she'd slept through it!

And I'm glad I'm not in the type of business where you have to comfort people at all, because I'm horrible at it. All these people kept coming in, because I guess Wal-Mart is the place to convene when something crazy happens, and no one's injured. I can't tell you how many times I got approached with "Did we have an earthquake?" or "Did you feel that?" And all I could say in reply?

"Um... yeah."

So, I'm not big on the empathy. I put things on shelves; they don't pay me enough to play trauma-counselor. I did feel bad for a lot of them though, just walking around with their mouths hanging open. At least with a tornado, which we're pretty used to around here, there's evidence of it. I think a few bricks fell off a building downtown this morning, but other than that, it's like nothing happened at all, and I think everyone was looking for something to justify how freaked out they were. I'm still a little freaked myself, but I'm really good at hiding it.

Between yesterday and today, I have done all the html and posted six chapters of "Impossible" on my website. Yay for me! I also made a bunch of icons, but I can't decide if I like them yet, so I don't know that they'll be put up. Sometimes, I think they're okay, but mostly I'm disappointed. But I'm new to it, and it's actually very challenging to make such a tiny thing. I'm more of a wallpaper person. In other news, I'm completely hooked on Naruto right now. Not the show, the manga. I've been reading it forever, but things recently got very interesting. It looks like Inuyasha might finally be drawing to an end to. Love it, really, but it's about damn time.

So, what am I hooked on this week? "Milkshakes and Motorcycles" by dampersandspoons is really cute, and I'm addicted. Still hooked on "Sideways" and "Murphy's Law." I squee when I get updates, it's really sort of silly.

Oh, I also posted on Elysian Fields today, for "Anna Begins." So far, I've got twelve chapters completed, and four of them up. I lost interest for awhile, but yesterday I got inspiration out of nowhere. After that, I discovered I've lost my outline, because I was stupid and didn't type it up. Oh, well. I don't think it's wise for me to outline entire stories; maybe that's why I got bored with it. But I'm working on an outline for the next few chapters, and hoping I'm remembering all of the major plot points. If not, I'll think of new ones, I guess!

So, I got info today that 'Impossible' won best WIP at Fang Fetish. I should use this entry to say thank you, and that I'm honored, since I was up against such great work. I had no hopes of winning at all, and was really happy to be nominated. Right now, I'm sort of stuck on the 'EEEEEE!!!!" though, so I will write more about it when I'm capable of actual words. And I wanted to post the graphic here, but computer's being stoopid. Oh, well.

Okay, so I've had this plot bunny hopping in rabid little circles through my brain for about forever. It started out as very vague, but has grown considerably over time, and I still have nothing to write for it. Why? Because I'm afraid to.

The idea came after watching season six two or three times. I'm not sure when exactly, but I remember it was during the episode "After Life." in that little scene of the Scoobies in the backyard, and it struck me as incredibly weird that Buffy came back from the dead, and then she's just... sort of okay. And no, I'm not ignorant. I know the entire season dealt with her inner turmoil of being alive again, but to me it just wasn't enough. This is going to prove once and for all that I spend entirely too much time thinking about fictional characters, but if I had been brought back from the dead, I think it would have taken me considerably longer to recuperate. I think I might have been insane with a bag of chips. And I totally understand the constraints of a television show; Joss wouldn't have had time for a whole season of 'let's deal with these issues.' He did it in the best way possible, and I flog myself for criticizing his talent.

But... in a fanfic world, there are no constraints. So, little plot bunny continues to hop. It wants crazy!Buffy. It wants angst, as usual, with cherries on top.

That's where the fear comes in. I've read TONS of fanfic. I probably have a whole gig of it saved on my hard drive, just in case those wonderful sites go down, and my favorite stories are no longer available. In my opinion the Buffyverse has more talented people writing fanfic for it than all the other fandoms put together. Yes, I've read some incredibly horrible fics, but it's so much easier to find a good one than if you're searching for a nice Inuyasha read. You're going to spend some time looking there.

And in all the Buffy fic I've read, the ones I call 'season six rewrites' are usually the best. Some of them are OUTSTANDING. Can I remember them all off the top of my head? No. But BarbC's whole Barbverse comes to mind immediately, and so does Niamh's Originsverse.

How do they do it? Everything is so intricate and complex, and... NO WAY can I do that. And yes, I know I don't have to. But I'd really, really love to be that fantastic, and it seems even when I give it my all, I just can't. Or I think I have, and then a few weeks later, I read over it, and it's crap. Sigh. Maybe I just don't have the patience.

But don't expect to see my own season six any time soon, because I will not be writing it unless I think I've grasped this concept of being awesome, lol. So long.

I'm much with the growling right now. My life is just... complicated. I accepted the fact long ago that I'd rather write than do anything else. I have friends, and sometimes I even go out, but I'm a classic hermit. Everyone accepts that, even if some of them think I should at least spend my time writing work I could get paid for. I do at times, but I enjoy Buffy so much more.

The growling is because everything else seems to be getting in the way of my writing lately, and the work I need to be doing on my website. I have all these plans, and never enough time to do them. I'm undergoing a huge project of re-decorating my bedroom, and that's not going well, I have huge financial issues, and my kids (a fat tabby and a moody Siamese) are driving me crazy lately. Stress, stress, stress.

But enough whining. I just want it to be known that I haven't given up on Anna Begins. I posted before I went to bed today, and I have every intention of seeing the story through to the end. I've never been great at sticking to posting schedules, but I did pretty well with "Impossible." Having written for other fandoms, it seems to me that Buffy fans are way more sympathetic. I think it's because we have more people writing and reading at the same time, and other authors can understand the complications of writer's block and RL getting in the way. When I wrote for Inuyasha, I had a small group of people that I dearly enjoyed talking to, and still do, but I also had a large number of teenage girls screaming for updates, and while I love that people want to read my work, it gets annoying after so many death threats. One of my favorite Spuffy writers might update once a month, but I wait patiently for it, and I'm never disappointed. Because I understand. I just hope there's people that think my stories are worth waiting for, and I'm going to try harder to get them posted.