bitching bitterness

little problem fixed

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:39:24 GMT

I noticed today that my links for "Long Time Gone" were missing, but it's fixed now, so the six chapters are all accessible now. Sorry...

i stole the meme

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:15:07 GMT

Yeah, I'm a thief, lol. And bored.

What's the last thing you wrote?
Working on 13 of "Long Time Gone," which is lyric heavy. Sigh. My ipod is angry at me.

Was it any good?
It's better than it was before.

What's the first thing you ever wrote that you still have?
A really abstract poem I wrote in sixth grade.

Write poetry?
Not very often anymore.

Angsty poetry?
That's all I used to write.

Most fun character you ever wrote?
Probably Azrael, an OC from my "Saved" series. She's a bit of a shocker.

Most annoying character you ever wrote?
I don't enjoy writing Xander, but I don't know if I'd call it annoying.

Best plot you ever wrote?
Eee... well, "Long Time Gone" is going to have a pretty involved one, if it all works out okay.

Coolest plot twist you ever wrote?
Probably in "Immortal," where the only way to save the world was to turn Buffy into a vampire. Otherwise, the First was going to take over her body and kill the world, lol. Yeah, not original. I suck at plot twists.

How often do you get writer's block?
Every time a chapter's going in the wrong direction, and it takes me days to realize it. And sometimes, I don't write at all for months. Just can't.

How do you fix it?
Go back to the last scene I liked, and start over from there.

Do you type or write by hand?
By hand when I'm outside smoking in my garage, and then I come in and type it up. It's a good way to edit, too.

Do you save everything you write?
Oh, if you could see my filing cabinet(s). And my external hard drive.

Do you ever go back to an old idea long after you abandoned it?
All the time. I have several old ideas that are being used right now.

What's your favorite thing that you've written?
"Saved" will always be my baby.

What's everyone else's favorite thing that you've written?
"Savvy," which is an Inuyasha fanfic.

Do you ever show people your work?
My best friend and my sister. Everyone else sees it on Elysian Fields.

Who's your favorite constructive critic?
My best friend. She can straight up tell me something's stupid, and it doesn't bother me at all. And she has very good suggestions for fixing it, which is always a plus.

Did you ever write a novel?
I had twelve chapters of a novel written. It somehow got thrown away. I gave up on it.

Have you ever written fantasy, sci-fi, or horror?
Not sci-fi, but the other two, yes.

Ever written romance or teen angsty drama?
Both at some point in my life.

What's one genre you have never written, and probably never will?
Historical Romance. My petticoats shall never quiver. XD

How many writing projects are you working on right now?
Oh, do I really have to confess that? Okay... Saved, Turned, Long Time Gone, Anna Begins, a season six 'epic,' a non-con that takes place in season four, and Switch.

Do you want to write for a living?
I wish. I put up shampoo for a living. That's what my 3.75 GPA got me.

Have you ever written something for a magazine or newspaper?
No.

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Do fanfic awards count?

Ever written something in script or play format?
Script, yes.

What is your favorite word?
Pretentious- that's me. =)

Do you ever write based on yourself?
I might write based on events that have happened to me, or things that are familiar, but not based on myself as a person. Who would care?

Which of your characters most resembles you?
Physically? None. Mentally? Well... none. I haven't written many absolutely insane people.

Where do you get ideas for your characters?
My friends. I like to take them and mix them all up into one person.

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
All the time.

Do you prefer happy endings, sad endings, or cliff-hangers?
Happy.

Have you ever written anything based on an artwork you've seen?
Hmmm... nope.

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Very. I'm a grammar freak. Bet you can't tell by reading it, though. I get in a hurry.

Ever write something entirely in chatspeak?
One little paragraph that was supposed to be an email, so that was done on purpose.

Does music help you write?
Yes, almost every single story of mine has a soundtrack.

Are people surprised and confused when they find out you write well?
They didn't look surprised. ???

Quote something you've written.

"Sit down," he told her, rolling the desk chair towards Buffy, who immediately sank into it and began wringing her hands. "And try to explain to me why you're acting like you just drank an entire case of Red Bull." --Anna Begins

another update

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:33:38 GMT

Chapter six of Long Time Gone is up.

different update today

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:05:56 GMT

I posted two more chapters of Long Time Gone on the website today. I just realized that since my site's getting hits, there might be someone reading the story, and since I can't post it on Elysian Fields, it's the only place anyone can read it. So, I'll try to post chapters on more of a schedule from now on. Impossible can wait, since it's already complete on EF. Hopefully, I can get a chapter of Anna Begins up there by the weekend, too.

small update

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:13:28 GMT

I posted another chapter of Impossible on my website, and a couple of teasers, one for "Switch," which is really not much more than a crackfic, if I ever finish the damn thing, and one for "Turned," which is a serious story, but the scene I chose to post is... not so much. I wish I could overcome the ADD I have lately. I'm trying to seriously work on two to three stories, but I keep writing little scenes for other ideas, and it's crazy. Reading too much fanfic does this to me. Is there such a thing as too much inspiration? Hm.

Anyway, my best friend, who is also my beta, is completely obsessed with "Long Time Gone," and actually got herself a little plot bunny for it yesterday, one that I'm finding very intriguing. It's nice to have someone with suggestions, who I can also totally turn down if I don't like them, lol.

wow...

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:08:59 GMT

So, we had this big, honkin' earthquake today. It was weird. I was on break, about 4:30 this morning, and we're just sitting there, and then the chairs were rattling across the floor. Very trippy. And I was okay, until people kept talking about aftershocks, so all my remaining hours at work, I keep looking up at all the crap that hangs from the ceilings at Wal-Mart. Have you ever noticed all that crap? Big, heavy signs, disco-ball security cameras. Stuff, everywhere, and I just knew I was doomed to get hit in the head with it. (I also work at the biggest Wal-Mart in Kentucky, and we have a lot of ceiling, too.) I called my friend when I got off work to have a complete "OMG" conversation about it (which we would never admit to), and she'd slept through it!

And I'm glad I'm not in the type of business where you have to comfort people at all, because I'm horrible at it. All these people kept coming in, because I guess Wal-Mart is the place to convene when something crazy happens, and no one's injured. I can't tell you how many times I got approached with "Did we have an earthquake?" or "Did you feel that?" And all I could say in reply?

"Um... yeah."

So, I'm not big on the empathy. I put things on shelves; they don't pay me enough to play trauma-counselor. I did feel bad for a lot of them though, just walking around with their mouths hanging open. At least with a tornado, which we're pretty used to around here, there's evidence of it. I think a few bricks fell off a building downtown this morning, but other than that, it's like nothing happened at all, and I think everyone was looking for something to justify how freaked out they were. I'm still a little freaked myself, but I'm really good at hiding it.

some motivation

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:16:36 GMT

Between yesterday and today, I have done all the html and posted six chapters of "Impossible" on my website. Yay for me! I also made a bunch of icons, but I can't decide if I like them yet, so I don't know that they'll be put up. Sometimes, I think they're okay, but mostly I'm disappointed. But I'm new to it, and it's actually very challenging to make such a tiny thing. I'm more of a wallpaper person. In other news, I'm completely hooked on Naruto right now. Not the show, the manga. I've been reading it forever, but things recently got very interesting. It looks like Inuyasha might finally be drawing to an end to. Love it, really, but it's about damn time.

So, what am I hooked on this week? "Milkshakes and Motorcycles" by dampersandspoons is really cute, and I'm addicted. Still hooked on "Sideways" and "Murphy's Law." I squee when I get updates, it's really sort of silly.

Oh, I also posted on Elysian Fields today, for "Anna Begins." So far, I've got twelve chapters completed, and four of them up. I lost interest for awhile, but yesterday I got inspiration out of nowhere. After that, I discovered I've lost my outline, because I was stupid and didn't type it up. Oh, well. I don't think it's wise for me to outline entire stories; maybe that's why I got bored with it. But I'm working on an outline for the next few chapters, and hoping I'm remembering all of the major plot points. If not, I'll think of new ones, I guess!

EEEEEE!!!!!

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:25:50 GMT

So, I got info today that 'Impossible' won best WIP at Fang Fetish. I should use this entry to say thank you, and that I'm honored, since I was up against such great work. I had no hopes of winning at all, and was really happy to be nominated. Right now, I'm sort of stuck on the 'EEEEEE!!!!" though, so I will write more about it when I'm capable of actual words. And I wanted to post the graphic here, but computer's being stoopid. Oh, well.

a rant with much butt-smooching involved... er, just read it. or ignore.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:54:35 GMT

Okay, so I've had this plot bunny hopping in rabid little circles through my brain for about forever. It started out as very vague, but has grown considerably over time, and I still have nothing to write for it. Why? Because I'm afraid to.

The idea came after watching season six two or three times. I'm not sure when exactly, but I remember it was during the episode "After Life." in that little scene of the Scoobies in the backyard, and it struck me as incredibly weird that Buffy came back from the dead, and then she's just... sort of okay. And no, I'm not ignorant. I know the entire season dealt with her inner turmoil of being alive again, but to me it just wasn't enough. This is going to prove once and for all that I spend entirely too much time thinking about fictional characters, but if I had been brought back from the dead, I think it would have taken me considerably longer to recuperate. I think I might have been insane with a bag of chips. And I totally understand the constraints of a television show; Joss wouldn't have had time for a whole season of 'let's deal with these issues.' He did it in the best way possible, and I flog myself for criticizing his talent.

But... in a fanfic world, there are no constraints. So, little plot bunny continues to hop. It wants crazy!Buffy. It wants angst, as usual, with cherries on top.

That's where the fear comes in. I've read TONS of fanfic. I probably have a whole gig of it saved on my hard drive, just in case those wonderful sites go down, and my favorite stories are no longer available. In my opinion the Buffyverse has more talented people writing fanfic for it than all the other fandoms put together. Yes, I've read some incredibly horrible fics, but it's so much easier to find a good one than if you're searching for a nice Inuyasha read. You're going to spend some time looking there.

And in all the Buffy fic I've read, the ones I call 'season six rewrites' are usually the best. Some of them are OUTSTANDING. Can I remember them all off the top of my head? No. But BarbC's whole Barbverse comes to mind immediately, and so does Niamh's Originsverse.

How do they do it? Everything is so intricate and complex, and... NO WAY can I do that. And yes, I know I don't have to. But I'd really, really love to be that fantastic, and it seems even when I give it my all, I just can't. Or I think I have, and then a few weeks later, I read over it, and it's crap. Sigh. Maybe I just don't have the patience.

But don't expect to see my own season six any time soon, because I will not be writing it unless I think I've grasped this concept of being awesome, lol. So long.

never gonna stop

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:05:26 GMT

I'm much with the growling right now. My life is just... complicated. I accepted the fact long ago that I'd rather write than do anything else. I have friends, and sometimes I even go out, but I'm a classic hermit. Everyone accepts that, even if some of them think I should at least spend my time writing work I could get paid for. I do at times, but I enjoy Buffy so much more.

The growling is because everything else seems to be getting in the way of my writing lately, and the work I need to be doing on my website. I have all these plans, and never enough time to do them. I'm undergoing a huge project of re-decorating my bedroom, and that's not going well, I have huge financial issues, and my kids (a fat tabby and a moody Siamese) are driving me crazy lately. Stress, stress, stress.

But enough whining. I just want it to be known that I haven't given up on Anna Begins. I posted before I went to bed today, and I have every intention of seeing the story through to the end. I've never been great at sticking to posting schedules, but I did pretty well with "Impossible." Having written for other fandoms, it seems to me that Buffy fans are way more sympathetic. I think it's because we have more people writing and reading at the same time, and other authors can understand the complications of writer's block and RL getting in the way. When I wrote for Inuyasha, I had a small group of people that I dearly enjoyed talking to, and still do, but I also had a large number of teenage girls screaming for updates, and while I love that people want to read my work, it gets annoying after so many death threats. One of my favorite Spuffy writers might update once a month, but I wait patiently for it, and I'm never disappointed. Because I understand. I just hope there's people that think my stories are worth waiting for, and I'm going to try harder to get them posted.

stoopid

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:57:52 GMT

Okay, I remembered my website again, lol. Day-to-day existing has been rather difficult lately. Nothing huge and dramatic going on. Just trying to do some major spring cleaning, and work's been more stressful than usual. I only posted a chapter of Impossible, but I hope to get more up soon. I've been working on Long Time Gone like crazy. I'm on chapter eleven, I just haven't posted anything since chapter three. HTML takes awhile, and I really really miss my FrontPage. Blah.

bout time

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 11:23:14 GMT

Okay, I FINALLY posted Ch. 2 of Anna Begins on EF. IT took awhile for me to revise it, since my friend thought the end was awkward. I think I might have made it more awkward, but it's done now. I'm just happy for that.

posting asap

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:29:17 GMT

For anyone reading Anna Begins on Elysian Fields, I'm apologizing. The second chapter will be up as soon as I can. It's finished, but I actually have acquired a beta reader, sort of. It's my best friend, and she's reading through it all right now. I'm also dealing with a lot of family issues, and possibly thinking of moving right now, so needless to say, I'm stressed. I would go ahead and post Chapter Two, but I've made some revisions and I'm waiting to hear feedback, but it will be up! Promise.

a 20 page chapter

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:40:17 GMT

The third chapter of LTG is up on my website. And if anyone's reading it, I'd lovelovelove some feedback on this one. There's a whole flashback scene, and I'm worried about it. I'm not sure it flows very well, or fits into the story. So please let me know what you think!

i have the plague

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:22:11 GMT

It's not the plague, so much as a cold, but it sucks. It's given me lots of time to work on the website, though. I've got all the navigation going smoothly, and have tweaked the layout to my liking. I've also posted the graphics page, though not much is on it yet, just a few wallpapers and icons. Hope you like, though.

art is hard (lol)

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:12:08 GMT

I'm having a really difficult time working on "Long Time Gone." Emotionally, it's not that bad (yet), and I don't want to run anyone off from the story before it's even posted, but it's almost like a long-running songfic. Yeah, I don't particularly care for songfics, but it's not exactly like that.

I have this thing with writing cliche plots, and trying to make them original, or at least believable. And I know the "hot main character in a band" is SO overdone, which is why I love doing it, and trying to make it seem more real and less OMG!squishdie. But it's hard. It's especially hard to insert lyrics into a story without it coming off as cheesy. When I wrote "Savvy" in the Inuyasha fandom, I was amazed by the feedback I received on it, and feel like I succeeded in my attempt.

I wrote "Long Time Gone" years ago, and... I didn't succeed, which is why I ripped it from my website back then, and it's sat on my hard drive, a glaring failure. The fic I'm writing now doesn't even resemble the original, but I'm loving it so far. I just wish it wasn't so damn hard to write. Finding the appropriate songs to convey the emotions of the scenes is the hardest part of all, but at least I enjoy that part, and my i-pod is helping greatly.

random girl strikes again

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:19:05 GMT

Usually when I can't focus on one fiction, I kind of stop writing for awhile until I get unstuck. But fortunately, I've got so many that need to be rewritten that I just keep bouncing from one to the next. And by bouncing, I mean sometimes I write a paragraph before opening another and working on that one. At the moment, I'm trying to write a little on "Long Time Gone," which is a hard one for me. It's very angsty, and very personal to me. I hope it reflects that when I post it; I don't want it to come off as cheesy, but it's a risk I'll take.

At the moment, I'm working on "Anna Begins," "Saved," and "Long Time Gone." Hopefully, I don't add any more to the mix until I get one done, especially since two out of three have sequels. Oh, boy. Yeah, I think I'm gonna be holding off on that graphics site for now.

should i willingly add more stress to my life?

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 11:08:41 GMT

I've barely got my website up and running, and I'm contemplating whether to revive my old graphics site. Since I am all about the free web-hosting right now, I can't run the graphics with my fiction. 20MB is just not enough. I'm not sure what to do, but I guess I'll make a decision sooner or later.

I've spent the last couple of hours trying to fix some navigational kinks in my site. I put status entries on all the fics, and it flows a lot better now, I think. I so miss having a paid site though. Stupid debt collectors and their stupid access to my checking account. Is it my fault I average a surgery per year? Grumble.

Nothing can drag me down right now, though. As of right now, "Impossible" is nominated for fourteen awards! And three of them are for best angst! I'm so excited. I love my angst. What was surprising to me, however, were the two nominations I got for best Buffy characterization. I never really thought I was all that great at writing Buffy, but I'm very honored.

i am so pathetic

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:52:38 GMT

Okay, so I did some updating on my website. I planned on getting a lot done, but it's icing outside, and it's depressing me. I would say snowing, but that's not what's going on. Nope, it's little ice pebbles. It looks like eensy weensy hail, and it's piling up as I'm typing this. I've already missed one day of work because of weather, and I'm not even sure that day was excused yet. I hope I don't have to miss tonight.

Anyway, back to the point. I posted one entire chapter on the site before giving up. I just hate all that html! I miss my Frontpage, even though I barely had a clue how to use it. I wish I had money, and could pay someone to run my site for me. That would be so sweet. Yeah, right. Not happening.

Anyway, check out my site if you're really bored, and let me know if you like it. There's barely any actual fiction up yet, but I'm pretty proud of some of the graphics. Go here!

yawn

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:15:19 GMT

Sometimes I hate having days off. I never sleep, and my schedule gets all messed up. I haven't slept in soooo long; I have a headache. I've been working on my site a little, but mostly watching lots of Buffy with my cousin. I love watching Buffy with people who haven't seen it. Heehee.

the drawbacks to writing

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 09:35:12 GMT

I've been cleaning my room today. This would take about ten minutes if it weren't for all the writing I do. I decided it was time to go through my stacks of notebooks and do some pre-spring cleaning.

Out of about 40 notebooks and 20 binders, I have an six inch stack of things worth keeping that I've written down. What's the rest? Doodles, half-finished grocery ilsts, etc. Utter crap. There's little pieces of paper all over my floor from ripping the pages off the spiral wire. Sigh.

Also, I've been working on my website. I got the worst part out of the way today; the links page. While I really don't use that many Photoshop brushes, I'm not sure anymore which ones belong to who, so I just link every page I have in my favorites, and it takes forever. I still have no fiction posted on the site. But hey, it's looking nice, lol.

I also bought the Buffy and Angel complete box sets today, along with another Buffy box set for my friend's birthday. Viva la tax refund, which I spent in five minutes. Well, technically I have a hundred dollars left, but watching 468 go bye-bye with one click? Ow....

writing like crazy

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:11:05 GMT

Okay, I finally added an LJ link to my Firefox toolbar, so maybe I'll remember I have one. Maybe. Anyway, writing is going well. Everyone can thank my sister for that, because she gets to read the chapters long before they're posted, and whenever I forget to write, she reminds me that she needs to 'be fed,' lol. Usually in a very threatening manner.

I'm nearly done posting 'Impossible' on Elysian Fields, and after that will begin posting its sequel, 'Anna Begins.' I really wish I could post the entire Triad series there, but it wouldn't be right, considering the last two installments won't be primarily Spike and Buffy. Hopefully, I'll have my website going by then. Well, I have my website up NOW, it's just sort of empty. Nothing posted yet, but I'm making very nice graphics. Sigh. I have no idea why the pictures become more important to me than posting the chapters. I'm so insane.

yay! yay! yay!

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:31:31 GMT

My tablet's working again!

I recently got a new computer and while I love the speed, and my beautiful LCD widescreen, I HATE Windows Vista, especially when my tablet refused to work. But today, I was reading online, and found a driver update, and now everything's peachy keen.

Yeah, I not only write, I draw. While I do a decent job on paper, my Photoshop skills suck a little. I've been working on painting. Now that I can actually use my tablet, I plan on doing covers for my fanfic. I hate pasting together Buffy screencaps for my stories. Some people are amazing at it, but I'm too picky. I want to draw mine. I'm currently working on a picture of Dark Willow, and it's turning out nicely. My shading needs help, though. I think I was inspired my the Season Eight covers. Whoa, those are nice. Lol.

squee

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 14:34:05 GMT

I'm so very, very excited to be in Buffy fandom again. I want to post everything I'm working on. That would be a major mistake, though, because then everyone would be waiting for months for updates, so this weekly thing is working well. It's something I've never done before, knowing I don't have to scramble to work, because I have oodles of chapters just waiting to be posted. I'm only on the second chapter of the 'Impossible' sequel and it's going slowly, because I suck at fight scenes. While I love watching all the pretty choreography, I can't write it to save my life. Seeing it in my head doesn't help. I wish I could make people act it out for me, lol. That would be great. I know Marie would; why are you still in Bowling Green again? Hmmmm????? Teehee.

ooops

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 11:27:38 GMT

So, I am constantly forgetting that I actually have a Livejournal. I have myspace, and aol mail, and gmail, and so many other sites that I'm constantly checking, and this one always just escapes my attention. Sorry.

In other news, I've started posted "Impossible" on Elysian Fields, and it's going great. I'm happy to be posting again; it's exciting.